Burst into tears.

I wish someone could understand how I feel in between all those perfect bodies. I work on my body for year and half now but I look the same as I started. I hate my genetics. I've been bullied for my body since I was 8. That's ten years now and suddenly there's somebody telling me I am beautiful and I.. I can't believe him. And I feel so sorry for that because I know he's awesome, kind and I'm just stupid girl who can't accept a compliment. I wish all people who ever bullied me will rot in hell. Because I feel like they destroyed my life, I know that and I can't do anything with that. I'm too weak for it. And it makes me even weaker when I realize that I will be alone for the rest of my life. Even if I would ever lose all this weight.. I would never get undressed in front of a boy. I just hate myself so much for that. And unfortunately, sex is really important for 99% of boys. I'm fucked. And ugly. I don't like my hair, I don't like my face, I hate my body. How am I supposed to live like that?

I wish somebody understand that I don't say it just for attention, but because I really mean it. I wish I could look into mirror and smile even a little bit saying myself: 'You look good today, girl.' I can't. I'd go back and start my life all over again. With different genetics, in different country. My life now sucks and I'm really scared it will be like this to the end of it. I just don't know how could I change it.